whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
