these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
