Please, let me fuck your mom
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
