Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
