How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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