so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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