windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
