What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
