Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
