she was so not down for the gang bang
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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