it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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