you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
