There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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