How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
