martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
