I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
