TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
