Pants 0. Shit 1.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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