whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
