I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
