I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
