My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
