what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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