Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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