Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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