We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
