Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
im calling her cock vulture from now on
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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