oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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