Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
