sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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