Say something about gay babies.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
