We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I want to fling myself into the sun
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
