I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
