so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
