piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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