So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
she woke up with a sticky ear
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
