Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
