Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
