Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
