Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
