For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
