So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
