Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
