I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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