Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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