one might say we're banned from that church
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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