is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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