my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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