I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
