No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
