Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize