So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
