sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
