I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
