she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
