wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
